Self Consent is the radical act of tuning in to & showing up for your needs, desires, limits and boundaries. A powerful declaration:
I am on my side, I am on my side.



This course is all about learning how to tune in to the wisdom that your body already has.  It helps you to recognise the barriers to identifying your needs, desires and limits in many areas. It helps you to address these barriers so that you are more able to access choices that are in line with your values and take account of your needs and boundaries. 
“Sophia helped me to reframe events in my life so I could maintain healthier and happier relationships. I got better at identifying and expressing my needs, which made everything so much better.” 
Clara

This group course is for you if:

  • You know that you focus more on the needs and desires of everyone else & ignore your own.
  • You want learn how to identify emotions, needs and wants more quickly. 
  • You want to get better at centering yourself in your decision making.
  • You want to learn how to stop defaulting to 'yes' or 'no'. 
  • You want to stop 'Should's' ruling your life. 
  • You're willing to try out new ideas!

This group course is NOT for you if:

  • You want to suppress or ignore your emotions, needs and limits. 
  • You want to keep abandoning yourself & focusing on what everyone else needs.
  • You aren't comfortable around quirky queers and cultural renegades
  • You already have a deep and thorough understanding of your emotions, needs and limits.
  • You don't want to try new things that may make you feel a little uncomfortable sometimes
"I was really surprised to feel more comfortable than I have in any kind of therapy setting I’ve ever been in. I’ve been able to be really open and bring my full self to the skills group and I feel really very grateful for that."
Gray

Who we are at Love Uncommon


Love Uncommon was founded by Sophia Graham who is a sex and relationship geek trained in counselling, DBT & teaching. Sophia works with other coaches and therapists to provide courses on emotion regulation, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness and self consent.

At Love Uncommon our courses center quirky queers and cultural renegades. This means we often work with folks outside of the sexuality, gender and relationship mainstream. We take a rights not rescue approach to sex work; believe trans women are women, trans men are men and that non binary people aren't (men or women that is). We think platonic, romantic and sexual relationships all matter & that folks can have healthy relationships with or without them being monogamous (or vanilla for that matter).


This is what we will be covering!

Live classes are on the second Wednesday of the month at 7.30-8.30 UK time; 2.30-3.30 Eastern time and 11.30-12.30 Pacific. 

Jan - Looking backwards to look forwards
This workshop is all about thinking past the last year and noticing times when we honoured our own needs, desires and limits as well as times when we didn't. It will help us to notice areas in our lives where we have work to do, and those where we are succeeding. 

Feb - Self consent myths
This workshop is all about the concept of self consent and what gets in the way. We will get into the beliefs and patterns that stop us from connecting with and expressing our needs and boundaries.

Mar - Building self consent by knowing your zone of influence
We all have choices and constraints in our lives. This session is all about working out the areas of your life that you’re not presently exercising choices in effectively. We will talk about the role of emotions, body sensations and thoughts in guiding you towards greater choice.

Apr - Building self consent by finding yes/no in your body
Our bodies often have answers that our brains haven’t yet recognised. In this session we will talk through some things that we know are ‘yes’ and ‘no’ for us, and then use those examples to focus on what yes and no feels like to us in our bodies. We will also use gestures and positions to enhance our alignment and communication with our nervous system. 

May - Building self consent by developing greater interoception
Interoception is our ability to sense sensations, emotions and bodily needs. This session is all about exercises to become more attuned to those signals. 

Jun - Introducing interoception
Interoception is the the perception of sensations from inside of our bodies, including our felt sense of organ function like heart beat, breathing, hunger, fullness, and our autonomic nervous system activity related to emotions.  Being able to identify and name emotions and sensations in our bodies helps us to make choices grounded in our felt senses. 

Jul - Building self consent by addressing attunement disruptors
Attunement to our bodies signals is a key part of the work we do on self consent. That means getting up close and personal with the things that disrupt our ability to remain attuned. It could be urgency, strong emotion, power relationships or something else. We will work on finding what has outpaced your self consent and working out a plan for managing these attunement disruptors.for managing these attunement disruptors.

Jul - Building self consent by working with the moment of choice
In July we will learn all about the moment of choice & how to have more of them! We will work on expanding the space for growth between stimulus and response to give us more flexibility & opportunity to move towards what we really want.


Aug - Building self consent by separating danger from discomfort
In this workshop we will talk about how our nervous systems often react to danger and discomfort in exactly the same way, especially when they relate to problematic patterns or events from the past. We will talk about the importance of discerning between danger and discomfort so that we don’t conflate the two and always avoid uncomfortable but potentially growthful experiences. 

Sept - Building self consent by planning for emotional dysregulation
In this workshop we will talk about planning for distress. Sometimes when we are distressed we make poor decisions that 

Oct - Building self consent with mindful moments
One of the most important parts of working with self consent is recognising that now is the moment to be acknowledging and acting on what you really want. This workshop is all about incorporating informal moments of mindfulness into your day. 

Nov - Building self consent with self enquiry - finding the right question
What's in a question? This session is all about returning to the resilient edge of risk and finding the right question to ask yourself. The right question will probably be hard to think about, even if you know some of the answer. 

Dec - Building self consent with interpersonal skills.
Even when we know what we want, asking for it can be hard. This workshop is all about techniques to help you ask for what you want and to say no. These are DBT inspired interpersonal effectiveness skills, and they really really work!



The course package and what's included. 

Join us!

£30 per month

  • Live monthly class on the second Wednesday of every month.
  • Videos, podcasts, handouts and worksheets to support your learning.
  • A community to learn with you.

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